The New Normal
by Rosaline-C
Summary: Killian's always known he was never going to be a father. It wasn't until Emma Swan and her son came into his life that he changed his mind. Post Underworld. CS Secret Santa gift for thecaptainsjones on Tumblr.


Killian Jones knew from an early age that he would never be a father. After his own father abandoned him without even saying goodbye, he knew he'd never make those mistakes; and he couldn't make those mistakes if he never became a father. He never really knew his mother, and with his father leaving he didn't have the picture-perfect childhood he always heard about in books. What did he know about raising a child when he didn't have any role models of his own?

After he followed Liam into the navy he never worried about it anymore. It wasn't as if there were women chasing after him while he was away at sea. He never really had a family and he was never going to. He had Liam and that was enough for him. It would always have to be enough. He had the sea as his mistress and the calming sound of the waves instead of the cries of a child. It was a lonely existence, but he had his duty and that was something.

But then Liam died, and Killian's entire world was shattered. His last remaining family was gone. He was alone and that was his new normal. He didn't even have his duty anymore, since he left his bastard of a king for causing Liam's death. Even the passing thought of ever having a family was laughable now. Killian had no-one and that was okay. He was a pirate now. Killian Jones might as well have been dead, since Captain Jones was very much here to stay.

But everything changed when Killian met Milah. Milah was the light in his life that he never realized that he needed. Milah had chosen him. Killian had never been chosen by anyone before, but this beautiful, adventurous woman had left her husband for him and chosen him. Milah had left behind a young son, Baelfire. She felt awful about leaving him and Killian told her that they would go back and get him. Maybe he could have a family after all.

But nothing could ever work out for Killian; his beloved Milah was taken from his too. The bloody crocodile had killed her and taken his hand along with it. Captain Jones was gone, and Captain Hook was in charge now. He had accepted that he was going to be alone forever. His love was gone and any hopes and dreams of ever being a father had gone with it. He just hoped that Baelfire was going to be okay.

It was by some stroke of luck with the gods of fate that Killian found Bae. Killian hoped he chose to stay on his ship. He wanted nothing more to teach him how to sail and navigate using the stars. He really hoped that they could be a family even if Milah was dead. For the first time in a long time, Killian finally had hope. Then Bae found out who Killian was and he left him to Pan. Killian's hope was gone too.

~O.o.O.o.O~

Killian was late. He was very very late. He had been supposed to meet Emma at Granny's to discuss Christmas plans half an hour ago. It had been hard to adjust to life in Storybrooke again after Emma brought him back from the Underworld, but falling back into a life with Emma wasn't hard at all. It was the easiest thing that he'd ever done. Well, as long as you didn't count the literal hell he had been through to get to this point. He loved her and her family more than anything, and that was what mattered most.

Emma was nowhere in sight when he finally got to Granny's. Instead, Henry was sitting at a table alone.

"Lad?" Killian questioned.

"Hey Killian," Henry greeted him brightly. He'd always liked the boy, but they seemed to be closer than ever, ever since Killian was brought back.

"Where's your mom?"

"I'm assuming you mean Emma and not my other mother?" Henry joked.

"And here I was, interested in the whereabouts of the Evil Queen," Killian jested back.

Henry laughed and gestured to the seat next to him. "Mom's running late from the sheriff's office. You might as well sit down and wait for her."

Killian obliged and sat down next to the boy. Killian hadn't allowed himself to hope that he could have a family for a long time. Not since Milah and Bae. But sitting here next to this brilliant young lad, he couldn't help but feel hope again.

Henry looked down at the table shyly, something clearly on his mind. He started speaking so low and muffled that Killian couldn't hear what he was saying. "Sorry?" Killian asked, hoping the boy would repeat himself.

"I'm just really glad you're back," Henry said quietly.

"Aye, I am too, lad."

Killian could tell that there was more on Henry's mind but he didn't want to push him. They were only quiet for a couple minutes before Henry finally spoke up. "I.. Killian... Um.."

"What's wrong?"

"Just... Can you promise you won't die anymore?"

Killian was touched at how much the boy cared. It also pained him that Henry had to watch him die so many times after he had already lost his father.

"I'll try not to die anymore."

"That's all I'm asking for, Dad."

Killian couldn't suppress his grin.

~O.o.O.o.O~

It was years later that Killian was snuggled under the blankets with his very pregnant wife, unable to sleep. If you had asked him years ago if he was ever going to be a father, he would have laughed. Now, he wanted nothing more. He already was a father. Henry had been calling him Dad for years now, and with the little one on the way, he knew he was ready to be a father. He had never thought this was possible, but with Emma this was the new normal.


End file.
